I will no longer use this blog. :(
SSF
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3.23.2010
3.18.2010
3.15.2010
Bulimia Nervosa
One by one, your limbs are separated
As I enter, tape is blocking your screams
You bleed and cringe, but it only feeds me
I slip out, bend, and lick it up
Spit it back in your face
Your vision fades, and I begin
Devouring bone, flesh, and skin
Your eyelids draw closed, and I begin
Vomiting onto what I dined upon
As I enter, tape is blocking your screams
You bleed and cringe, but it only feeds me
I slip out, bend, and lick it up
Spit it back in your face
Your vision fades, and I begin
Devouring bone, flesh, and skin
Your eyelids draw closed, and I begin
Vomiting onto what I dined upon
I Am Hungry
My stomach acid eats away at my innards
Decaying the lining of my organs
I must feed. This must end.
It began soft, chewing on the walls of my mouth
Saliva flowing and seeping through my lips
As I swallowed small white chunks of skin
But I wasn't satisfied, so...
I began to eat myself.
Decaying the lining of my organs
I must feed. This must end.
It began soft, chewing on the walls of my mouth
Saliva flowing and seeping through my lips
As I swallowed small white chunks of skin
But I wasn't satisfied, so...
I began to eat myself.
All the Body Parts of Women
These things sound good to me
All the body parts of women
Cut, rip, mutilate your flesh
Ravage your body, bury you six feet deep
My heart, it beats
To the rhythm of yours
To the rhythm of necrophilia
In and out, my blade is a tool of your demise
Cry your eyes out
You can't fucking see
Cry your eyes out
I won't let you fucking breathe
All the body parts of women
Cut, rip, mutilate your flesh
Ravage your body, bury you six feet deep
My heart, it beats
To the rhythm of yours
To the rhythm of necrophilia
In and out, my blade is a tool of your demise
Cry your eyes out
You can't fucking see
Cry your eyes out
I won't let you fucking breathe
3.11.2010
Repentance.
"I do not regret the things I have done/
But the things I did not do."
I wonder how you feel now, what you are thinking.
Now that you sit in this hole. Forever.
But you know that everything goes on.
You have learned many lessons, but you are still daft.
I have learned your lessons, but I do not want to believe them.
Not believing in them, I have not learned their true definition.
One day I will come to realize them.
And on that day, I may be happy.
It appears that simple, but 'tis not.
For one cannot force their beliefs.
They must come or they are not true.
I pray for thee to come. I fucking pray.
My mind says,
"You're a motherfucking piece of shit,
and you'll never amount to nothing."
But my hearts just says, "No."
For now you sit in your hole.
And I sit in mine.
Separated.
But the things I did not do."
I wonder how you feel now, what you are thinking.
Now that you sit in this hole. Forever.
But you know that everything goes on.
You have learned many lessons, but you are still daft.
I have learned your lessons, but I do not want to believe them.
Not believing in them, I have not learned their true definition.
One day I will come to realize them.
And on that day, I may be happy.
It appears that simple, but 'tis not.
For one cannot force their beliefs.
They must come or they are not true.
I pray for thee to come. I fucking pray.
My mind says,
"You're a motherfucking piece of shit,
and you'll never amount to nothing."
But my hearts just says, "No."
For now you sit in your hole.
And I sit in mine.
Separated.
3.09.2010
Pah nun...
Here lies everything I once believed in.
Here lies everything that is now dead to me.
It is now recognized.
You cannot say that I do not exist.
Rest in peace...
Here lies everything that is now dead to me.
It is now recognized.
You cannot say that I do not exist.
Rest in peace...
3.07.2010
3.03.2010
... will break your heart.
I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know what is real anymore.
I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to go with it, but I'm afraid of the outcome. I'm always afraid. I'm fucking tired of being afraid. I know I shouldn't be; I should just put the past behind me; the same goes for the future, but for some reason I can never bring myself to do that, no matter how much I tell myself I won't. Well I'm done.
Goodbye..
2.25.2010
L.
It was a Saturday. We were walking up a steep hill in Corralitos. It was then, at 12 midnight, that it hit me.
The shadows beaming off of a street light became engulfed in magnificent shades of red and blue (and possibly green, but my vision was so blurred I couldn't make it out perfectly). I turned around 180 degrees and stared down the hill I had just ventured up. The trees in the distance formed a box, making it appear to be a tunnel entrance for a train. I stared at this for approximately 10 minutes before I explained what I was seeing to one of my friends. Though it was most definitely impossible to explain, I think I did my best.
After trekking up this mighty hill, my friend had been rendered exhausted and bored, so we decided to walk down. This simple task was more beautiful than anyone could expect. The gloomy shadows looming in the sky were coated with the same colors as the street light, red, blue, and a mixture of other shades. The trees were brighter and greener than they should have been in reality. There was a fat grin on my face; I was so oblivious I was happy.
At the bottom of the hill, we returned to my friend's front yard surrounded by trees and shrubs, as well as house lights. We stopped to stand under a wonderfully tall tree. I was uncertain of the species unfortunately. Some of its limbs stuck out longer than 12 feet, and they were naked and spiky. Rough. But the skin on my hands did not mind at all.
The other person I was with was fixated on these branches. One she clung onto like a sloth and marveled at its construction.
My friend and I just let her be. We had no comment. As we stood under the tree conversing, our friend stayed attached to the tree she was obviously in love with. I do not remember our conversations, but I'm sure they were not of the utmost importance. Every once in awhile, our friend would stop to say something like,
Again, we ignored her.
I'm being modest when I say that we, excluding myself, were all out of control. With high pitched, high volume voices, I suggested we go back inside the house so as not to disrupt everyone in the fucking neighborhood. My friends agreed, so we left our tree and ventured back into the house.
What a good fucking night.
The shadows beaming off of a street light became engulfed in magnificent shades of red and blue (and possibly green, but my vision was so blurred I couldn't make it out perfectly). I turned around 180 degrees and stared down the hill I had just ventured up. The trees in the distance formed a box, making it appear to be a tunnel entrance for a train. I stared at this for approximately 10 minutes before I explained what I was seeing to one of my friends. Though it was most definitely impossible to explain, I think I did my best.
After trekking up this mighty hill, my friend had been rendered exhausted and bored, so we decided to walk down. This simple task was more beautiful than anyone could expect. The gloomy shadows looming in the sky were coated with the same colors as the street light, red, blue, and a mixture of other shades. The trees were brighter and greener than they should have been in reality. There was a fat grin on my face; I was so oblivious I was happy.
At the bottom of the hill, we returned to my friend's front yard surrounded by trees and shrubs, as well as house lights. We stopped to stand under a wonderfully tall tree. I was uncertain of the species unfortunately. Some of its limbs stuck out longer than 12 feet, and they were naked and spiky. Rough. But the skin on my hands did not mind at all.
The other person I was with was fixated on these branches. One she clung onto like a sloth and marveled at its construction.
It's like a hook you guys!
My friend and I just let her be. We had no comment. As we stood under the tree conversing, our friend stayed attached to the tree she was obviously in love with. I do not remember our conversations, but I'm sure they were not of the utmost importance. Every once in awhile, our friend would stop to say something like,
When I talk, it feels like colors are flowing out of my mouth!
Again, we ignored her.
I'm being modest when I say that we, excluding myself, were all out of control. With high pitched, high volume voices, I suggested we go back inside the house so as not to disrupt everyone in the fucking neighborhood. My friends agreed, so we left our tree and ventured back into the house.
What a good fucking night.
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